A year of missed memories

It's amazing how time passes, how it is so relative to your state of mind. It's amazing how time flies when you are enjoying yourself.. when you wish you had more of it to take in every single  memory that is made. Then there are times when it seems as if the next minute, hour, and day are creeping at a snails pace. Those are the hard times.. the times we're usually grieving, lonely, or hurting. It has been a year, today, that my uncle Tom passed away. When I look back at the year.. I can't believe how many memories were lost because he wasn't here. Instead.. the memory of packing up his home with the family... and watching my mom say goodbye to the memories she shared with her best friend.

 In reality.... the hard times.... and the passing of time is all about our perception of the situation. There is a part of all of us that wishes we hadn't lost them...wish we had another day, hour, minute to spend laughing, talking, and making memories. But really...he may have spent this last year in more pain than the 18 months before that... you have to release the small piece of yourself that wants it for you.. and remember that they are now happier, healthier, and waiting for us. And for now.. all you can do is be more aware of the time you have with the ones you love. Open your eyes, stop complaining, and don't let time creep by covered in hurt and bitterness... find something positive... and make a memory out of it.

Uncle Tom was a big teddy bear. He was never afraid to reach out and hug my sister and I. Those big bear hugs are missed.

The last time my sister and I saw him was a tough one... he struggled to breath, to speak, to stay awake. But here he is.. fighting to speak to us just one last time. I remember that minute. I took it in... and best of all.. I captured it with my camera.
Such a heart wrenching moment.. but an emotional one I wouldn't have taken back. My mom, his care giver and best friend, whispered "I love you, Tommy." 
We've missed you this year Tom! So many memories we wish you were here for... we love you.

How do you remember?

How do you remember the loved ones that have passed? Do you consciously say... they would've loved to see this.. or dream about them.. even talk to them because you just know in your heart that they are out there listening to you...? At times I do all of the above. For many nights after my grandpa passed, I dreamt of him. In my dream he was gone as well.. but came back for just a moment to see me.. and give me the smile I still remember. 

A year ago, tomorrow, my family and I lost our grandpa, dad, and husband.  He did not go alone...there were men that came to get him, he told my mom. I believe that he was not scared.. that he knew those faces he saw and went on to a better place. My uncle, who was also battling cancer, took this journey along with him. He passed the very next day.. only 18 hours apart. They had been traveling buddies all their life and only God could have put them on this tough journey together and a triumphant new life... together. It is unheard of for people to pass from cancer within hours of one another. Many people would feel a enormous sense of loss.. which we did.. but we all were comforted to know that they walked out of that hospital together.. for a new trip.

How do I remember? One of my favorite things my grandpa did was send newspaper clippings that talked about things that related to me. He actively took interest in my life, daily! It made me know he thought about me all the time. Along with the clippings were motivational notes. He was always so proud of me.. no matter what I was doing. So how do I remember him? Anytime I am having a hard day, frustrated with a design idea, or bogged down with projects... I look over on my desk and read one of the many notes I saved from him. This one is framed on my desk.

It reads: 7/12/03

Hi Jam! I heard you've been over achieving and zinging 'em.....Don't fight it.. its in the genes! Love G.P.

I kept this note from 2003... so thankful I did.

So take a moment and think about someone and how you remember them. I miss you grandpa. Thank you for your daily motivation. I hope I continue to make you proud.

Need a laugh?

Sometimes ya just need a little something in your day to make ya laugh. For those of you who did OR did not watch the Golden Globes the other night.. here's a little clip that I thought was hilarious.

Click Here. :)

A lil' something extra for Tim & Steph

I had to add this image... I think it is so fun. It feels like it could be in a old bar.. back in the 50's. Gotta love your girls!

I wanted to add a slideshow for these two, family and friends. Enjoy!!!

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE SLIDESHOW!!

Happy B-day Lil Sis!

I just got back from an awesome dinner with my mom and my sister. I can't believe my "little" (she is waaayyy taller than me) is 24! She is a year under 25! I don't think this even really hit me until I was bored one day and adding dates into my fairly new iphone ;) I began to write "Megan's... 2...? Bday." Uhh... how old is she going to be?? I had to actually go back to the year she was born and count! Soo crazy the way time goes by. I feel like we were just playing war, building forts, and burying each other in mounds of clothes on our bedroom floor. I guess I am realizing how important it is to take each moment in. Sit back and actually take the moment in.

Tonight the three of us had the most fun we have had in a long time together. We all  laughed absolutely hysterically the entire night!! Our mom was cracking jokes left and right like she was on stage at a comedy club. It was soooo much fun, and I really needed that today. Take time to laugh with your family.. be light hearted... and even laugh at yourself. 

Here is Megan and her "flourless" cake. (Not exactly sure what a flourless cake is...but thats what our waiter said the bday sundae was...)

Here is mom and me... I was laughing so hard as it took us about 30 seconds for my mom to smile. Megan and I just sat there cracking up.
I managed to grab a shot of my mom mid-laugh. I love it. We were all close to tears at this point... she was being soooo funny!!!
Happy Bday Little Sis! Thanks for my new Canon Powershot SD790 IS, which I owe these shots to tonight. This cam is actually amazingly sharp and has great settings. Thanks for the Christmas gift Meg.